Thursday 3 February 2011

Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard.

Definitely. Especially when they are going to embarrass you. Until he opens his mouth, Jonah looks like the perfect little angelic 3 year old. His blonde hair and sky blue eyes are enough to melt even the hardest of hearts. Until he opens his mouth, that is.

Walking home from school this afternoon, (whilst listening to 3 sets of the day's news, stopping one boy from running into the road, pushing one back onto the pavement from the curb, making sure another one doesn't turn fun running into racing running, ensuring nobody steps in dog poo etc etc) we happen upon the bus stop. Waiting at the stop was a lady. Jonah smiled his beautiful, winning smile and waved to her. He often waves to people and says hello, so this was nothing new.

As I approached with Toby and Max in tow, Jonah shouted to me. His voice is not quiet, ever. I don't think he knows the meaning of the word quiet. Even when he is trying to speak softly, most of the rest of the street can hear him so when he shouts, I think the whole town must be able to tune in.

"MUUUUM!" He shouts, pointing at the lady. At this point, I knew something awful was going to happen and quickly racked my brain for solutions to the impending problem. My school run sloshed brain did not provide a solution quick enough however.

Continuing to smile in his disarming, cherubic way and still pointing at the lady, he hollers at me.
"HE LOOKS LIKE AN OLD GRANDMA!"

(I have to point out here that "he" is used for both the male and female of the species. However much I try to teach him that a girl is a "she", he continues to say "he".)

Toby and Max snigger loudly. The lady (who, if we are being honest, did look like an old grandma) looks slightly flustered and says "Thank you very much."

My brain, not usually up to much at the best of times, was temporarily paralysed and I quickly muttered an apology and hurried the boys on as fast as possible.

I vote for some good old Victorian family values. Keep the mouths of the children shut!