The decorations are down (sigh of relief) and the choccies are all gone (love/hate feelings...).
I decided to set my expectations low for Christmas this year, knowing that in the past I have seriously believed that my family could be the same as the perfect ones on the telly and then being bitterly disappointed when someone threw someone else's toothbrush out of the window or someone else used all of someone's lynx to light their own farts.
Some people may think this is a pessimistic way to approach the holidays. I prefer to believe it is realistic. I kept everything extremely simple. No baking, no home-made decorations, no bible-versed advent calendars at breakfast and even no turkey! And it worked.
Rather than look back over the last couple of weeks and feel weary and discouraged because we didn't all play instruments together for our own family Carol Service (seriously, I made them do this more than once) or manage a 10 mile hike up the nearest hills on Boxing Day, I can actually point to several triumphs of our time together.
So, for my own benefit mostly but also in case it encourages you, here are my 2019 Christmas triumphs:
1. We played a game all together without anyone falling out. No board-throwing across the room. No stomping out and slamming doors. There was laughter, banter and even the occasional encouragement! It was a Christmas miracle and one that this mum's heart will treasure.
2. Christmas Dinner was enjoyed by all. Instead of turkey, we had bought a few different smaller joints of meat and we created a carvery. Everyone chose their own food and piled it on their plates. This meant that they ate the lot and if you've ever seen my face when food is wasted, you will know that this pleases my little soul immensely.
3. We slept. Thankfully long gone are the days of waking up in the middle of the night with little ones. These days it's the other way round as we are awake late waiting for the big ones to come home. But having two weeks off work meant that we could sleep in late each morning. And it was delightfully decadent.
4. We had chance to re-connect. Without the pressures of school and work, the reminders to do homework, the checking for letters in bags, making sure everyone is where they need to be at the right times, we could all relax and remember why we actually like each other. Time spent chatting about the important life stuff meant that we could appreciate each others' hearts again. Realising that, whilst they make choices I don't always agree with, my older two young men have minds and thoughts of their own gave me a fresh gratitude for them and the way they think.
I'm not the kind of person who makes New Year's Resolutions. (Apart from one year when I resolved not to look for anyone's stuff anymore. It worked, by the way. I still don't look for their apparently lost stuff unless they are desperate. It's usually right in front of them.) So, I won't harp on about goals for the year. But 2020 is going to be a year of change for our family with one boy completing GCSE's and leaving school and another boy completing 'A' Levels and heading off to University. My plan is to be a mum who chats. I want to make time to chat over after-school
I'm bracing myself, yet again, for, well, I don't quite know what for.
But life moves forwards, and so must we.
