Insanity and Life

I have teetered on the very brink of insanity. Cbeebies, baking with messy little ones, constant demands and requests, cleaning up unmentionables (ok, poo, wee, sick and snot), painting that gets splattered all over the room, park trips listening to competitive mothers, toddler groups, crying, laughing, reading the same stories over and over again, playdough that gets trodden into the carpet, listening to cheesy children's cd's in the car, playing ridiculous monster games. It's enough to drive anyone insane.

And it nearly has. But thankfully, something has come to my rescue.

After 11 years of having under 5's at home, Insanity stands grinning at me, waiting to welcome me with open arms. As I giggle my way towards it, School races into my path, knocking me off my feet and rescuing me from the menacing clutches of Insanity's arms.

Tomorrow my little boy starts school. I have survived. I have more than survived on the odd occasion.

Far from feeling sad and nervous, I feel elated and excited. Our family life is moving forward at the proper pace. I have had the privelege (and I know it really is a privelege) of being at home with all my boys before they went to school. Despite the madness and the grey hairs it has produced, I would not have had it any other way. And now, I have done this part of my job. This box can be ticked. I have prepared them all for school. This part of my appraisal can be signed off.

Tomorrow Jonah will begin his long school journey. I am so excited about all he will learn and the person he will become. I am also looking forward to having some time to do the things I have been putting off for so long. Having small children brings sacrifices and, rightly or wrongly, I have put my life on hold for 11 years, waiting for this very moment.

Life doesn't begin now. Life has continued these last 11 years while I was putting aside my hopes and my dreams in order to give my boys the best start I could. However, in another sense my life does begin again now. And having just about escaped Insanity (although some may argue otherwise), I can't wait.