Monday 18 March 2013

Forgotten

I thought my extrovert years were over. The demands of looking after my energetic boys often leave me with nothing else to give. Night's out are enjoyed, but always with the hovering shadow of 'will I sleep tonight and if I do, what ridiculous time will I be woken in the morning?'

So, when my lovely friend invited us to her 40th birthday party (I know, I don't think I'm old enough to have 40 year old friends either) complete with disco, I was a little hesitant. Don't get me wrong - I wanted to go, I just didn't want the repercussions of the late night. And on the day in question I was tired. We'd had a very busy day and I wasn't sure I'd last the evening out without nodding off in the corner.

But I made the decision to make the most of it and enjoy myself. And I really did. Letting my hair down (quite literally and embarrassingly to rock it out) for the first time in a very long time, I danced the night away with some of my best friends. And it made me realise I'd forgotten how to have fun. I get so bogged down in the small details of every day life - who needs wellies for school, which time slot we need for parents evening, what time the boy's swimming lessons are, how am I going to get the boys to school when I have to work and Jared is away etc etc, that sometimes I forget about having fun.

Oh yes, I have fun with the boys. We laugh a lot, play games, make up jokes and play tricks on each other. But it's not always quite the kind of fun I would choose, and I am still on my guard for arguments, bad moods or over the top rude jokes. I can't let my hair down completely. I don't have fun in the way I would choose.

And I also realised that not only had I forgotten how to have fun, but sometimes (not always, but definitely sometimes) I forget about being thankful. I look down at the circumstances of my busy life, instead of looking up and realising all the awesome things I have to be thankful for.

So, I have compiled a thank you list.

1. I am thankful that, even though they often annoy me and exhaust me, I have 3 healthy boys.
2. I am thankful that this morning, the sun shone and I could hang my washing on the line.
3. I am thankful that I had frozen chips and fish fingers in the freezer for tonight's tea.
4. I am glad to have good friends who love me as I am (even if they laugh at me a little bit when I get a bit ranty).
5. I am grateful for a job which allows me to be there for my boys.
6. I am thankful for a husband who seems to adore me, even first thing in the morning before I've cleaned my teeth!
7. I am thankful that today when the food shop was delivered, Toby and Max put it all away for me in the right places.
8. I am grateful for the beauty that is found in creation, especially the tiny, hidden treasures like frost-covered spider's webs.
9. I am glad that my adoring husband is away tonight and I get to stretch out right across the bed.
10. I am thankful that, even though I shout at them sometimes and make loads and loads of mistakes, my boys seem to be growing up into sensitive, caring, courageous young men.

What's on your list? What have you forgotten to do in the busy-ness of life?

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