Trust

The countdown began on January 1st.

3 months to go until Jared begins his part time job for Best Western (and his salary halves). Without anything else lined up (and no savings at all), the prospect felt daunting and as the grey, cold month of January wore on and we STILL had no answers and nothing substantial booked in I have to admit I started to wonder if we were doing the right thing. Having a cancellation from something that was a big opportunity was probably the lowest point of the month. Waiting, waiting, waiting and waiting was all we seemed to be doing. Why on earth had Jared given up his job to do this? My mind started racing with all the negative possibilities that we faced. The reality hit hard and I started to doubt everything that I held true.

Last week brought a turning point for us both. Unaware of what the other one was thinking, we both came to the same conclusion. There were still no answers, and still nothing for us to live on in April. Outwardly, nothing had changed. Inwardly though, everything was different. We suddenly realised that although we said we trusted God, when crunchtime came, our legs wobbled and our heads raced with anxious thoughts. Anxiety is not real trust. It was one of those "Ok, God, I think I get the message now" moments. Ever had one of those?

So, we put our family once again into God's hands. We put our future into his hands and we put our finances into his hands. As scary as it sounds, it actually is the safest place to put them. If only we would just realise this and stop trying to do it all ourselves!

This morning, as Jared was on his way to meet with Rock UK to discuss the possibilities of working part time for them, the boys and I sat around our breakfast table and prayed. We thanked God that he already knows our needs and we asked him for some answers today. We asked him to provide for us.

He did. Jared left his meeting amazed at God's provision. The gap that we were looking to fill so that we don't have to eat beans on toast every day (we've tried that and it stinks the house out) has now been filled. The timing was utterly perfect. Everything about it was perfect.

And the best bit? Without a doubt, telling the boys. Max's response was an astonished "Oh Mum, I love God so much. He's amazing. I love being a christian. If God can do this now for us, imagine what heaven will be like!"

Was it worth the wait? Absolutely.