September Blues

I know it is officially October now. How can I not know it is October when Toby is counting down the days to his 11th birthday. 11?! How did that happen?

The beginning of September brought a sigh of relief for me as everyone went back to school and routines took over again. I like routine. I'm not a go with the flow person, despite the fact that most of the time I am going with the flow. Everyone was excited about their new classes and teachers. Everyone felt more grown up again (except me). The first few weeks were an upwards rollercoaster. Smart uniforms, new lunch boxes, shiny pencil cases, new friends.

And then the tiredness kicks in. And the realisation that actually the new teacher isn't as kind as she made out on the first day. And the reality that this going to school lark has to be done every day kicks in. And so do reading books, packed lunch making, homework, making sure you've got everything you need, trying to be good all day so you don't get into trouble and having to be dressed before breakfast.

Maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be after all.

So instead of showing all this heavy weight on your shoulders to the teachers at school, you show it at home. You show it to your brothers who love you (although they couldn't possibly admit it) even though you punch them and call them names. Instead of answering back to your teachers, you answer your parents back because they love you unconditionally. You don't want to, and afterwards you know you shouldn't have said it, but it just pops out of your mouth before you managed to rein it back in. Whilst at school you might come across as confident and full of courage, at home you can let out all those pent up emotions and have a good cry.

And so September brings challenges of it's own. It requires extra patience on my part (still in training on that one) and more compassion for one another (and on that one). If ever there was a particular time of year to try and spend more time individually with the boys, this would be it. They need time to process the changes and they need a sounding board to talk it all through with. Few of us like change, and I need to be the constant in my boy's lives while they are becoming used to these changes. I need to be there for them and see past the rudeness and the fighting.

Who said parenting was easy?!