Shopping Trip

Shops are a necessary evil. Ever since my boys have been too big to be strapped into a pushchair, I have actively avoided taking them shopping. Fingers trailing surfaces, touching the untouchable. Wandering feet taking them to unknown and unfindable places. The "can I have?" question playing on repeat. It's enough to make me kiss the feet of the Amazon.co.uk inventors.

However, there are some things that just cannot be bought online. And on those rare occasions, the shops have to be braved. Today has been one of those occasions. Taking 3 boys and a husband shopping is not for the fainthearted, so I braced myself, took some deep breaths and off we went.

Hoping to do a 'grab everything you need in one shop and exit the building as quickly as possible' move, we made our way to a large out of town shop. To my dismay, I discovered that Max is actually bothered about the clothes he wears. It was a lesson in knowing "what goes with what" as he piled into the basket bright orange jeans and trainers that are just 'sickage'. Unfortunately for Max, the sickage trainers were not the most practical and knowing that he would rather put them on as quickly as possible and head out into the mud of the garden, the white lace up boots were not the best buy.

Max and changing rooms were also a new experience. Trying on his first pair of skinny jeans, he stood in front of the mirror shaking his booty until I explained to him that there were other people waiting to use the changing rooms. He was rather pleased that the skinny jeans gave his best bum wiggle an extra je ne sais pas.

The 'all you can eat' shop did not have practical velcro trainers for either Max or Jonah so we had to traipse out and find yet another shop.

This was our mistake. Oh yes, the trainers were purchased but this second shop was full of toys, technological gadgets and even sweets. To drag the boys away from playing with the new ipad or macbook pro to try on boring trainers was like attempting to seperate a man from his beer on a summer's evening. It was an almost impossible mission. We managed it with the promise that they could return to the gadgets afterwards. Once we returned however, there was a beady eyed member of staff watching their every click (and thump in Jonah's case). Feeling like the parents with the uncontrollable children, we dragged them out of the gadget area as quickly as we possibly could.

Paying quickly and leaving the shop in which they had touched everything they could lay their grubby hands on, we headed out into the busy Saturday afternoon car park which was full of bollards. Bollards, of course, are designed to prevent cars from driving into the sides of the shop. Unfortunately, little boys (and some big ones) believe they are designed to be leapt over at every opportunity. So, along the side of the busy car park, my boys gave in to the irresistible temptation to leap every bollard in sight much to the distress of the car drivers nearby. A scary moment.

The shopping trip had been completed and we breathed a sigh of relief as we clambered into the car to return home. We breathed too soon. Jonah, for whom we'd bought new trainers, suddenly realised we hadn't bought him 'anything'. In his language, 'anything' means something that isn't boring for example sweets, toys or other such like. He then moaned for the whole 15 minute journey home that we hadn't bought him anything and there was 'nothing to do'. Moaned is putting it politely. Howling would probably more of a correct term.

When we arrived home, he lay on the floor in the kitchen continuing to howl, just to make his point further.

And so the shopping trip has been made. Perhaps if I hadn't avoided shopping trips so vehemently my boys might be more used to them. I freely admit my mistake, made in desperation and for survival-of-the-mother. Maybe one day I might enjoy taking them shopping, but that is an unimaginable goal at present.