Jared has been away for 2 nights and 2 days at his annual conference for work. They all dress up in DJ's and posh dresses, drink copious amounts of wine and eat ridiculously tiny portions of gourmet food whilst I, to make things easy, eat fish fingers and smiley faces, wear clothes covered in snot and dribble and barely have time to brush may hair. No, of course I'm not jealous........
Although I tried hard to be a 'good mother' during this time, I failed miserably. Instead of sorting out arguments and fights, I hid in another room hoping desperately that they might sort it out themselves. Funnily enough, they did not. When they came to find me with their tales of woe, I shrugged my shoulders and told them to stay away from each other. Eventually I pleaded with them to watch the television only to be accused of "trying to turn us into girls"! "How, exactly", I asked," does watching the television turn you into a girl?" There was no answer to this...... However, once they were finally ensconced in front of the screen, their cute and angelic little brother began to throw things at them, turn the television on and off, steal the remote controls and change the channels! I was fighting a losing battle so eventually put them to bed early and breathed a sigh of relief.
When Jared returned, he brought them their obligatory presents for 'being good' (although this is highly questionable this time). What were the presents? Stress balls. Stress balls for boys who, of course, carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Stress balls for boys who have to cope with living with a mother like me. Stress balls for boys who are forced to watch the television, thereby becoming more girl-like. I apologise for my cynicism. It is inexcusable. It must be so difficult being them!
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